the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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