butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
