I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
