She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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