should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
