his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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