I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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