Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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