the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
where am i from again
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
