She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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