Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
