Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
