Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
