I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
