This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
