There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
