before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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