Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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