Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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