Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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