people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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