"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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