we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
