im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
