I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
