I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
