i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
