Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
