He asked to "fluff my boner.."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
