Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
