i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
