I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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