i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
