covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
