So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
