so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
