Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
