My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
