You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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