ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
