is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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