Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
