kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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