That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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