it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
