Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
