you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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