my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
