there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
