If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
