Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
