nut hugger
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
